Wedding Chaos
by PezberryFeelings
Summary: Continuation of Game Night. It's 4 years later. Rachel and Santana are finally getting married.
1. Chapter 1

4 years later...

It took Rachel and Santana 4 years to finally get married. They decided to finish school and then realized they weren't yet in the financial place to be married so they just kept extending it. People started to think it would never happen. But then Santana ended up buying the nightclub she was a bartender at when the owner announced he was looking to sell it and retire to Florida, and Rachel got a part in an off-Broadway musical. They figured it's time to strike while the iron is hot and finally make this official.

Now almost everyone they know will be filtering into NY in the next two days to start getting ready for their wedding.

* * *

Rachel walked into the apartment after a long day of rehearsal. She wanted to make sure her understudy was on point before taking some time off. Santana was sitting on the couch in boxers and a wife beater eating cheetos and watching tv.

Rachel crossed her arms and looked over to her. "Wow. Is this a glimpse into our future together? Me out doing something productive all day while you veg out on the couch getting fat?"

Santana looked up at her licking powdered cheese off her fingers. "Did you just call me fat?"

Rachel smiled and grabbed the bag from her and headed into the kitchen. "I'm just saying it wouldn't kill you to eat a piece of fruit every now and then."

"Hey I eat fruit!"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "The apple chunks at the bottom of a pitcher of sangria don't count as fruit."

Santana moved closer towards Rachel and wrapped herself around her, her front to Rachel's back, and placed kisses along her neck.

"I could just eat you instead. I'm sure you're nutritious and delicious."

Rachel arched into Santana. "Mmmm. You do look pretty sexy right now."

"A minute ago I was fat and now I'm sexy?"

"I never said you were fat."

Santana placed another kiss on Rachel's neck and then left to go back into the living room. "You better like what you see because in a few days you'll be stuck with it for the rest of your life." then she plopped back down on the couch.

Rachel walked over and sat next to her. "I love what I see."

Santana put an arm around her as she continued. "Do you ever wonder what things would be like between us if we didn't start dating?"

Santana pondered for a second. "Well, considering we were just roommates for a really long time I'd say things would pretty much be exactly the same, minus the sex."

Rachel scoffed. "Please. We both know once you found out I liked girls you wouldn't have lasted the rest of the year without trying to get in my pants."

"Ha! You're one to talk! You're the one who spent weeks rubbing one out over me before I asked you out… And now my plan to embarrass you just failed because the thought of you having a wankfest is totally turning me on."

Rachel smirked. "Ooh. I'll keep that in mind. Maybe sooner or later you'll get a show."

Santana groaned. "Seriously, best girlfriend ever."

"Fiancé," Rachel corrected, pointing a finger at Santana.

Santana pulled Rachel's finger and wrapped both of Rachel's arms around her neck then pulled her onto her lap. Santana leaned in for a kiss and Rachel scooted closer, deepening it. Kurt then unlocked the door and walked in. He put his bag down and took a seat in the chair.

Santana gently pushed Rachel away. "You just had to give him a key, right? You couldn't just leave that alone?"

Rachel swatted at Santana then moved off her lap to sit next to her.

Kurt smiled. "I just came to check on you guys and make sure you're all packed to head to the hotel tomorrow."

Santana rolled her eyes. "You make it seem like we're just taking a vacation. It's our wedding. Of course we're packed."

Kurt smiled wide. "This is so exciting!"

Santana nodded. "I'm excited that I get to drink up all her berry juice for the rest of our lives and it's going to be illegal for anyone else to sample a taste."

Kurt stared wide-eyed. "I can't believe Rachel is marrying you."

Rachel shook her head. "I know, right?" I always thought I'd aim higher. She's really good in bed though."

Santana laughed and Kurt rolled his eyes. "It's gross how perfect you are for each other."

Santana and Rachel both smiled at one another and then Santana turned back to Kurt. "Now get out so I can sex up my lady."

Kurt made a disgusted face and Rachel looked over at him. "You should have known that was coming. I don't know why you don't just call when you have something to ask. You know she's just going to kick you out once you're here."

Kurt frowned. "I just figured maybe as my best friend you'd eventually tell her not to."

Rachel whined. "But sex, Kurt."

Kurt grabbed his bag and walked towards the door. "Ok ew. I've heard enough. See you ladies tomorrow." Kurt locked the door behind him and left Rachel and Santana to continue getting their mack on.

* * *

The next day they are sharing the bathroom and getting ready. Santana is rubbing her hand up and down her leg Rachel is still showering.

"I wish we could just fast forward ten years into our relationship so I don't have to shave my legs anymore."

Rachel peaked her head out of the shower. "Last night you were trying to get fat and today you want to stop shaving your legs. You're really planning to just let yourself go once we're married aren't you?"

"I'll be the hottest, fattest, hairiest girl you've ever had the pleasure of seeing naked."

Rachel laughed and went back to finish her shower.

When they were both done they grabbed all of their things and headed to the hotel with Kurt. He wondered why Rachel insisted that all of them stay at the hotel everyone is staying at rather than just staying in their own apartments. Rachel explained that she's trying to avoid as many disasters as she possibly can and if she at least knows that her bride to be, maid of honor, and everyone else they know are in the same place it's one less thing to worry about.

Later that night Rachel, Santana, Kurt and Mercedes are together eating dinner in the hotel restaurant.

Rachel smiled at everyone. "Thanks so much for taking us out you guys. This is a nice break before everyone arrives tomorrow and we proceed with the wedding planning chaos."

Mercedes nodded. "Who knew that the first time everyone would be together again would be to see you two get married. Trust me, girl, with everyone together it's only going to get worse."

Santana shook her head. "It's not like all of us have always gotten along either. Only god knows what's going to go down."

Rachel put her hand over Santana's. "Which reminds me, we need to call the caterers and have them switch the steak knives to butter knives."

Kurt looked over to Rachel. "Why not take it a step farther and make everything plastic?"

Santana shook her head again. "My abuela can make a shank out of anything. We should just serve soup and bread. Cold soup. Something that wont scar a face."

Mercedes laughed. "It's really great that your grandmother finally accepted you though. I know how much that hurt you when you thought she didn't love you anymore."

Santana nodded. "Thanks for bringing up one of the most painful memories I have two days before my wedding."

Everyone laughed and Santana continued. "No seriously though, I'm happy about it. Except she just calls us all 'The Gays.' Like they live down the street or something. 'I heard The Gays had a parade. Did you go?' "

Kurt laughed. "Well whatever you guys need just know me and Mercedes are there for you. We will be the best maids of honor ever."

Rachel looked over to them. "Just as long as we all try to keep things under control. This is my wedding which means no one gets to be crazier than me."

Little did Rachel know the universe thought she was posing a challenge.

* * *

**tbc**


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Rachel, Kurt, and Rachel's dads are in their hotel room getting dressed for the rehearsal dinner in an hour.

"Oh my god, dad. Please tell me this isn't what you meant when you said you were wearing your good black suit."

Hiram looks himself up and down. "What? This is genuine leather."

"I'm vegan! A cow died for your suit! You're wearing a cow suit!"

"If it's any consolation it probably didn't live long enough to be a cow. It's more likely a veal suit."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "That's horrible. Pick something else. You look like you're in the gay mafia."

Leroy looked to Hiram. "How did she know?"

Rachel stared wide-eyed. "Just please change into something more appropriate for my wedding rehearsal. And don't you dare even think about wearing that on my actual wedding day. Kurt get me a bottle of wine so I can erase away all thought of my dads potentially being gay hitmen."

Kurt ran over to get Rachel what she needed. He wondered if Mercedes has having as hard of a time with Santana right now as he was with Rachel.

* * *

Mercedes and Santana were both sitting at the bar knocking back their fifth shot of tequila.

"So why did you ask me to be your maid of honor and not Brittany?"

Santana wiped her chin. "Oh yeah great idea. Have my ex girlfriend be my maid of honor at my wedding. Why not take it a step farther and have one of Rachel's exes jump out of the wedding cake and yell 'surprise'."

Mercedes laughed. "It's actually pretty funny how Finn and Brittany are engaged and are guests at your and Rachel's wedding." Then she looked at her watch. "Shouldn't we be getting dressed? The rehearsal dinner in in like an hour."

Santana looked at herself and looked at Mercedes, both of them still in pajamas and now drunk. "Ugh, Rachel is gonna be so mad."

* * *

Rachel's phone buzzed and she looked at it. She saw a text from Santana.

_Merxedis n I got card awy. Gretying drsd. B tere soon_

"Oh god she's drunk. This is just perfect."

A few minutes later everyone gathered to drive to the hall to rehearse the walk before heading to dinner. While there everyone notices Finn and Brittany walk in looking disgusted with one another.

Mercedes quirked an eyebrow. "Hey Brittany…what's up with you two?"

"We had a fight and I hate him right now."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Please no massive blowouts during the wedding. Get everything you need to get out today." Then she walked to the back to prepare for her entrance.

Santana stumbled up to the front near the Officiant. "Psst. Hey. Wedding person. I'm getting married tomorrow."

The Officiant looked at Santana. "I'm sure you're the lucky one."

Santana hiccuped and laughed.

Sam is the usher and he escorted Santana's parents and grandmother to their seats. Both of Rachel's dads will escort her so there is no need for him there, so he moved on to Brittany and Puck. Santana and Rachel consider them family and decided to have them escorted as such. They wanted the wedding to be fairly small. Just one maid of honor for each of them, no bridesmaids, and all of their friends and family in the room with them for this moment in their lives.

Finn had a seat on one of the chairs on Santana's side while he waited for Sam to escort Brittany down the aisle.

The two started walking and Brittany stopped him. "Hey, don't walk so fast. I dropped three hundred dollars on the awesome dress I'm wearing tomorrow. You have to give everyone a chance to admire how hot I look."

The Officiant spoke up as they got closer to the end of the aisle. "And now you will take a seat next to your fiance`." He pointed at Finn.

Brittany rolled her eyes. "When Jesus jumps off the cross and gives me a high five."

Finn turned back to her. "I wouldn't want you next to me if you were a large tub of popcorn."

Santana laughed. "Mmmm popcorn. And you kind of just insulted yourself, dumbass."

Finn rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Not everything has to be about you, Brit. Now get over here and sit down."

Brittany scoffed. "Don't talk to me like that! Your days of bossing me around are over you big-titted bastard."

Rachel came rushing into the room. "Just put him on my side!" Then she left to the back again.

The Officiant told Finn to go over onto Rachel's side of the room and Brittany took her seat. Then Sam went back and escorted Puck down the aisle.

Puck smirked. "Dude this is like super gay right now."

Sam rolled his eyes and showed Puck to his seat on Rachel's side.

The Officiant then called the maids of honor to come down. Kurt and Mercedes walked together down the aisle with big smiles. Mercedes took her place next to Santana and Kurt stood on his side waiting for Rachel. Rachel's dads escorted her down the aisle and everyone took a deep breath. It was as if everyone realized at this very moment that tomorrow all of this will be real. Rachel came up and took Santana's hands in her own.

Santana looked a bit teary eyed. "I cant believe this is actually…" and then the words stopped because she vomited all over the floor.

Rachel just threw her hands up. "This is my life."

* * *

They decided to end the rehearsal early and hoped that tomorrow they could just get it right without any major issues. They all headed to dinner to put the mini fiasco behind them.

They are all seated at dinner and mingling with one another. Santana finally sobered up after emptying out all of that tequila on the floor.

Santana frowned. "I'm sorry about your shoes."

Rachel gave a weak smile. "I wish I could say it was from nerves and not because you picked one of the worst days ever to be irresponsible."

"Hey, some of it was nerves!"

"You're so lucky that I love you. It's times like these I have a hard time remembering why. But I do and that's what matters."

Santana smiled. "Just as long as you say 'I do' tomorrow, we'll be good."

Rachel smiled. "Just as long as you dont throw up tomorrow, we'll be even better."

* * *

**tbc**


	3. Chapter 3

Santana gave Rachel a kiss and then heard a plate crash in the background. They looked back and saw Mercedes holding back Brittany and Kurt trying to calm Finn down while they're arguing.

_Oh I bet you just looooved getting to be on Rachel's side, didn't you?!_

_You are being ridiculous!_

Rachel's jaw dropped. "Why cant everyone just behave? It's like everyone is against me having a happy wedding. Is this my karma for being such a snob to everyone in highschool?"_  
_

Santana stood up. "I'll take care of it." She walked over to see what was going on.

"Okay what the hell is the problem? You two are about to give Rachel an aneurysm."

Brittany pushed Mercedes' hands away. "Before we got here he said he thought he'd marry Rachel some day and it's weird how now he's a guest at her wedding to someone else!"

Santana looked at Finn. "Is Santana Lopez gonna have to choke a bitch?"

Kurt's eyes grew wide. "Oh no, she's speaking in third person."

Finn got out of Kurt's grip. "It was just a meaningless comment. I'm sure you thought someday you would marry Brittany. I didn't mean anything by it, she's just taking it the wrong way."

Santana rolled her eyes and looked at Brittany. "Crap, I hate it when I agree with Finn. You're both overreacting. You guys are together and I assume you're happy. I'm marrying Rachel tomorrow and I'm happy. But Rachel is sitting across this room right now and she is most definitely not happy so you both need to drop this right now."

Brittany shook her head. "I don't know."

Santana got out her wallet. "If this were any other weekend I'd sit here with a bag of chips watching you two duke it out. But it's my wedding tomorrow and this needs to go away so I will give you one hundred dollars to pretend your fight never happened."

Brittany crossed her arms. "Money isn't going to take away the anger I feel."

"Fifty dollars and you can kick him in the nuts."

Finn looked shocked. "Wait, what?"

Brittany smiled. "Deal!"

Santana put the money in Brittany's hand and turned back to Finn. "Take a deep breath. It will all be over in a minute."

Two minutes later Brittany is happy and cuddled up next to Finn while he's sitting on the floor with an icebag on his crotch.

Santana walked back over to sit near Rachel, feeling accomplished.

Rachel stared at her wide eyed. "That all really just happened, didn't it?"

"It's fine, baby, I fixed it. No more problems over there."

Rachel pursed her lips. "I couldn't help but notice you avoided answering my question earlier about if this is my karma."

Santana put her head in her hands. "I need another drink."

Santana's grandmother came up to the two of them. "Hello, ladies. Rachel, you look beautiful."

"Thank you!"

"I heard the gays held a protest last week. Did you go?"

Rachel looked over to Santana and Santana just smirked and shrugged.

* * *

Later that night Kurt is in his room with Rachel while Santana is staying with Mercedes. As per tradition you're not supposed to see your bride to be the night before the wedding and after today Rachel figured at least something should remain sacred.

Rachel was laying in bed drinking a glass of wine. "I thought it was a given that the night before the wedding I'd be the crazy one. I didn't even make the top ten today."

Kurt smiled and laid down next to her. "It's behind us. Tomorrow you're going to be Mrs. Rachel Lopez. No one really knows why you want to be this though. Besides the fact Santana's got 'trophy wife' written all over her."

Rachel nudged him. "Oh stop it. You know she's pretty incredible. Sure she's hot, although after the conversation her and I had the other day I'm not too confident how much longer that's going to last... but she's also so loving and caring and protective of me. Even if she never said the words I'd know she loves me just by the way she looks at me."

Kurt smiled. " I know." Then they both laid down and drifted off to sleep.

A few hours later over in Santana's room she and Mercedes are still awake and knocking back shots again.

"Okay. Tomorrow I'm driving you to your wedding. I'm giving you a choice right now. We can either go or we can bypass it completely, head down to Atlantic City and never look back. What's it gonna be?"

Santana was silent.

"Santana?"

Santana looked at her. "Hang on, I'm thinking."

Mercedes threw a pillow at Santana and they laughed. "Well we already paid for the DJ and Rachel will be pissed if we lose that deposit. And I should probably tie her down now before she gets famous and I end up losing her to a Jonas Brother or Lindsay Lohan."

Mercedes laughed. "You talk so much crap but anyone with half a brain can see it in your eyes how much you really love her. It's funny because it wasn't that long ago you were throwing insults at her."

Santana smiled. "I still throw insults at her. We just bang afterwards now. Girl is a fuuureeeeeeaaaaak."

Mercedes took the glass out of Santana's hand. "Okay that's enough tequila."

"Seriously though. I've had her on every surface in our apartment."

Mercedes nodded. "I really don't need to know about this. I've eaten food at your kitchen table."

"You'd think she'd be a screamer but not really. She's a squirter though. Like wow. I might drown some day."

"Alrighty. That's officially more than I ever needed to know about Rachel." She checked the clock. "Shouldn't we be going to sleep? You're getting married in like twelve hours."

Santana looked at what time it was. "Ugh. Rachel is gonna be so mad."

* * *

The next day Kurt and Rachel are coming back to the hotel after spending the morning at the hair salon. He walks in first and greets Rachel's dads.

"Okay…so there may have been a slight problem at the hair salon. But it's gonna be fine."

Rachel runs in sobbing with an obscenely large poof of hair and tons of tight curls.

Leroy looks shocked. "Slight problem? That looks like Carrot Top and Snooki had a hair baby!"

Rachel cries harder. "That isn't helping! I told them I wanted something elegant and stylish not something that screams 'thank you for the country music award'!"

Hiram looks it over. "It's not that bad. It's just a little busy."

Leroy put his hand on Hiram's shoulder. "You really shouldn't sugar-coat this. It looks like Corbin Bleu drank a whole bottle of Dolly Parton and threw up an 80's rock band."

Rachel is now choking on her sobs. "I told them I wanted soft curls around my face, not a whole head full of curly fries!"

Kurt patted her shoulder. "It's really not that bad. And Santana _loves_ curly fries."

Rachel pushed him away. "Now it's just going to be confirmed in front of god and everyone that Santana really is marrying a freak!" She ran and locked herself in the bathroom.

Kurt turned to Rachel's dads. "Okay. We are three gay men having a hair crisis. I know we can fix this."

Hiram pulled a brush and a flat iron out of his bag. "I was born for days like this."

Two hours and three flat irons later the dads drove to the hall and Kurt prepared Rachel to leave.

"See I told you we could fix it. And you look beautiful."

"Thank you. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"You'd probably still be at the salon throwing cans of mousse at that stylist."

"Holy crap, did I do that? I have no memory of that."

Kurt smirked. "Well you did inhale about two cans of hairspray so…"

Rachel nodded. "You go ahead. Get everyone ready. Puck is picking me up."

"Okay. See you soon. This is so exciting! You're getting married!"

"I know!"

They hugged and then Kurt left while she waited for Puck.

Meanwhile back in Santana's hotel room…

Santana was sitting on the bed breathing in and out of a paper bag.

Brittany sat next to her while Mercedes was pacing. "You really have to calm down."

"Brittany is right. You're going to give yourself a stroke."

Santana removed the bag. "Good! Then I might die and I won't be able to get married. What was I thinking? I can't do this. I wanted to and then we put it off for so long. Then it came and I was excited and now I just want to throw up."

Brittany frowned. "Again?"

"You're already dressed and we have to leave now. I gave you a choice last night and you chose the wedding. You're getting married today whether you like it or not so lets go."

"No you can't make me!"

Santana got up and tried to run but she tripped over Brittany's shoes and landed head first against the door. She got back up and started stumbling, slightly shocked from the impact.

Mercedes looked towards Brittany. "Quick, get her into the car while she's still out of it. I'll bandage up the cut on the way."

Back in Rachel's room…

Puck put his hands on Rachel's shoulders. "There is a little bit of an issue with the limo I called for us."

"What's the issue?"

"It's not coming. It's caught in traffic on the highway."

Rachel threw her hands up and looked mortified. "What am I supposed to do?! Catch the bus?!"

"It's okay. I will just drive you there in my car. It's not as fancy but we'll make it."

Two minutes into their ride the car ran out of gas.

Puck looks towards Rachel. "I'm just going to take a shot in the dark and assume you don't have a canister of gas on you. Would I be right about that?"

Rachel pouted and started fanning her eyes with her hands trying not to cry.

* * *

**tbc**

A/N: Thanks for all the positive feedback so far. I just like comedy and honestly all of my fics are inspired by other tv shows. I'll see a funny scene and think it would work great for Santana and Kurt, for example. So I'll put that in and then build a whole fic around it. And a lot of the time the dialogue in my fics are from actual conversations I've had with people. Like Mercedes asking Santana if she wanted to drive to AC instead of getting married and Santana saying she had to think about it. That was a real life conversation. Anyway when the mood for writing strikes I just run with it and I'm just happy people are enjoying my ridiculousness.**  
**


	4. Chapter 4

In the wedding hall Brittany and Mercedes are fixing Santana up.

"I know you guys are trying to help but I'm almost positive Rachel is going to notice a tweety bird bandaid on my forehead."

Kurt came running into the room. "Hey has anyone seen Rachel? We're about to start and she isn't here yet…" Kurt looked confused looking at Santana. "What the hell happened to your head?"

Santana starts to panic. "She's not here? What do you mean she's not here? Maybe she changed her mind. What if she just now decided she doesn't want to marry me?"

Mercedes rolled her eyes. "Thirty minutes ago we had to drag your semi-unconscious self into a car because you were ready to run away and now you're worried she might not show up?"

"Don't yell at me!"

Kurt looked confused since Mercedes wasn't yelling and Brittany moved closer to him. "Her hearing seems to fluctuate ever since the blow to the head. It's probably nothing serious."

* * *

Meanwhile Rachel and Puck are walking through the streets of NY trying to make their way to the wedding hall.

Rachel is walking fast holding her dress up so she doesn't dirty it. "Every day in this city a thousand cabs pass you by but the one day you need one you can't find any. I'd have been there already if you didn't insist on taking me yourself."

"Hey you said yes. Don't get mad at me for your bad decisions."

Rachel started walking faster and Puck ran up next to her and she looked at him. "Did you at least call Santana and tell her what happened?"

"My phone is dead. Can I borrow yours?"

"I'm wearing a wedding dress! Do you think I have a phone shoved in my ass or something? Kurt has it."

People started honking their horns and yelling congratulations. Rachel rolled her eyes. "I didn't marry him! He's an idiot!"

"Okay, we're making it to this wedding." Just then Puck picked up Rachel and started running towards the wedding hall.

* * *

Santana runs towards Kurt. "Have you heard anything? Why aren't you with her?"

"I'm sure she's fine. I left her with Puck."

"In what universe is that fine?!"

"Even as I said that I wasn't buying it. Look, I'll stall the Officiant a little longer and be right back. Just keep an eye out."

Santana keeps pacing and wringing her hands together.

Kurt came back in a couple minutes later and Mercedes put her hand on Santana's shoulder. "Santana, you need to calm down."

"Stop yelling. I'm standing right in front of you. And No I won't calm down. She's 30 minutes late. I should have seen this coming. I'm not serious about anything. All I do is make stupid jokes and let her think I'm going to get fat or stop shaving. I try to use sex as a way to solve all of our problems or avoid them completely. She's working on a career that's going to have her name in lights and all I do is run a bar."

Mercedes frowned. "Santana."

Santana lightly laughed and continued. "I even got drunk at our rehearsal dinner and threw up on her." Santana looked more serious. "It's time we all face reality. She woke up today and realized she could do a lot better."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Did you skip breakfast or something? Anyone have a snickers bar for the drama queen?"

"Stop trying to downplay this. I know I freaked out earlier but I've dreamed of this moment with her for years. Maybe this is all nothing but a dream. Maybe I'm not meant to be with her forever."

"You're not backing out now, are you?"

Everyone turned when they heard that voice and saw Rachel standing at the doorway, smiling.

Santana ran over to her. "Oh thank god. Where the hell have you been?"

Rachel hugged Santana. "It's a long story."

"Shh you don't have to yell. I'm happy you made it."

Rachel looked very confused and Santana continued. "Waiting for you to get here has been like hell on earth."

"It's been no walk in the park for me either. Although Puck and I did walk through a very scary park."

Puck gave them a thumbs up as he downed a bottle of water then patted his forehead with a towel, panting.

Santana smiled and they hugged again. "I'm so sorry. This dream wedding is turning out to be more like a nightmare."

Rachel scrunched her eyebrows at Santana. "It wouldn't be us without a little unnecessary drama. Why is there a tweety bird bandaid on your head?"

Santana smirked. "Why does Puck look like he just ran a marathon?"

Kurt butted in. "How about we share what I'm sure are two very fascinating stories after the wedding?"

Mercedes clapped. "Yes! Lets get you two crazy girls married."

* * *

Everyone made it to their seats and watched as Rachel and Santana stood there finally making this official. The actual ceremony went on without any issues. They placed a ring on each others finger and The Officiant announced them bound in matrimony. Rachel breathed a sigh of relief as they kissed and everyone cheered. She was convinced she'd get struck by lightening while walking down the aisle because to her it seemed like the only logical conclusion to the already horrible day she was having. Luckily for them both they said their 'I do's', tears were shed, and everyone left to the reception happy.

Rachel, Santana, Kurt and Mercedes stood up in front of the room, all of them holding a glass to make a toast.

Rachel started. "Santana is the love of my life. I never thought I would feel this way about anyone, let alone her." She turned to Santana. "No offense."

Santana gave a teary laugh as Rachel continued. "I knew the day we got together that we would be in this for the rest of our lives. I don't know what I'd do without her."

Santana kissed Rachel's hand and then spoke. "I'm already an awesome person but I'm my best when I'm with her. A few years ago I thought letting her spend the night on my couch would be the worst mistake I ever made, but now we're married, and I thank god every day for bringing us together." Santana turned to Rachel. "I will love you for the rest of my life and any life I have thereafter."

Everyone awwed and Kurt spoke up. "I've known these two since highschool and I never thought I'd be up here giving a toast at their wedding. Back then Rachel was outgoing yet severely lacking in people skills and Santana showed signs of being a future trophy wife for an NFL player. Then she came out of the closet and I thought okay maybe arm candy for a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader."

Everyone laughed and Kurt continued. "I don't admit this often, but I was wrong. I've been friends with both of them for years now and I have to say I've never seen two people so in love in my life."

Everyone was smiling and Mercedes spoke. "From the day I met Santana and Rachel I knew that as self-centered as they were they would both make a name for themselves some day. This couldn't have happened to two better people and lets face it, Rachel Lopez will looks so much more exotic up on a Broadway Marquee. A toast to Rachel and Santana."

Everyone raised their glasses and cheered. Santana kissed Rachel and then they separated as Rachel went to sit with their friends and Santana made her way over to Rachel's dads.

Hiram came over and shook Santana's hand. "Welcome to the family!"

Santana smiled wide and laughed. "Well someone had to make an honest woman out of her."

Leroy looked at her. "Are you implying our daughter has slutty tendencies?"

Santana's eyes grew wide and she cleared her throat. "No. No we've never even had sex. Tonight will be the first night...Unless you don't want us to, sir."

Hiram quirked an eyebrow. "You can't bullshit a bullshitter. And we're just kidding. Gosh you're so easy."

Santana laughed. "Like Rachel, right heh?" She elbowed Leroy but he didn't look amused.

Santana cleared her throat again. "I hit my head...Anyway we'll see you both over the holidays."

Santana ran over to sit with Rachel and their friends. "Good call switching the steak knives to butter knives."

Rachel looked confused. "Why?"

Santana gave a nervous smile. "No reason."

Rachel grazed her hand over Santana's cheek then turned towards everyone. "So, is anyone going to explain to me why Santana kept thinking everyone was yelling at her and she's got a bandaid on her head?"

Santana's eyes grew wide as she looked over at Mercedes and Brittany, almost pleading that they don't tell her what happened.

Brittany smiled. "Oh. At the last minute she decided she didn't want to marry you and hit her head on the door. It was a side effect. We dragged her here and put a bandaid on her head."

Santana's eyes were still wide as she was shaking her head and Rachel looked at her, obviously upset. "You what now? You just gave a toast about loving me forever and you didn't even want to get married!?"

"Of course I wanted to marry you! It was just nerves, baby. At least I didn't throw up this time."

"You mean besides the fact they had to _drag_ you here. I'd rather throw up than a no-show! If you didn't want to get married why did you even propose in the first place?"

Kurt and Mercedes looked at each other. And Kurt smiled. "Aww their first fight as a married couple. And the wedding isn't even officially over yet. This has to be some sort of record."

"I did want to get married! They had to drag me here because I nearly knocked myself out on a door. I love you! I just had a moment where I thought I wasn't good enough for you and I got scared. And hey I was on time! I wasn't even sure you were coming! Which didn't help with me already thinking you could do better."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "The car ran out of gas. Puck literally carried me here on his back."

Puck pointed at Rachel. "You look like you'd be light but you really aren't."

Santana rolled her eyes and Rachel gave an awkward smile back as she ran her fingers through her hair. "You know what? We're both overreacting. And for me there is no better than you so there isn't and never will be a reason for you to think otherwise."

Kurt smiled. "Rachel is right. She's been secretly planning your wedding since before you even started dating. Constantly scribbling 'Rachel Lopez' on all her notebooks."

Rachel looked embarrassed but Santana just thought it was cute. She kissed Rachel on the cheek and Rachel turned to her. "We both made it despite being late or having cold feet. And no one threw up. We're married and sure maybe things didn't go exactly the way I imagined it would but everything is still perfect to me because I have you."

Santana smiled and laced her fingers between Rachel's. "You're right. Everything is perfect. Seriously, I probably have a concussion though."

Rachel gave Santana a sexy smirk. "That just means you shouldn't sleep for a while. Which is fine because I plan on keeping you up all night."

Kurt stared at them. "You guys are so weird."

* * *

The next day congratulations were given and everyone parted ways once more. Later in the afternoon Rachel and Santana are laying on the couch in their living room with Kurt sitting in the chair, the three of them flipping through channels.

"So what you guys do yesterday?"

Santana looked at him confused. "We got married, Kurt. You were there…We did get married, right? That's not just the concussion talking?"

Rachel smiled and laced her left hand between Santana's. "Yes, we did."

Santana smiled and gave Rachel a kiss.

Kurt laughed. "Have you decided where to go on your honeymoon?"

Rachel shook her head. "We can't seem to agree."

Santana rolled her eyes. "That's because everything Rachel wants to do is boring. Like I really want to go to London and take pictures of a big clock."

Kurt looked shocked. "Big cock? What? I wanna go."

Santana smirked. "Big _clock_ you pervert. Get your head out of the gutter. Or better yet maybe if you stopped spending all your free time with lesbians you'd actually get laid."

Rachel smirked. "At least everyone knows I didn't marry you for your cultured view of the world. How about we relax instead and go to Mexico? Lay out on the beach for a week? I'll even let you pick my bathing suit."

Santana smiled. "Now that's an idea I can get behind. And super hot. And now I'm picturing myself getting behind you..."

Santana got lost in thought for a couple seconds then turned back to Kurt. "Get out so I can sex up my wife."

Kurt grabbed his bag and stomped towards the door. "Oh for god's sake. Some things never change. I hope you both dehydrate." Then Kurt slammed the door behind him then he opened it back up. "And for your information I have sex all the time!" Then he slammed the door closed again.

Rachel laughed and looked down at Santana. "So basically the only thing that has changed is now if we ever want to break up paperwork will have to be involved."

"Yes. And I know how much you hate paperwork so my plan worked perfectly."

Rachel shook her head, smiled and kissed Santana. "I love you. And you're not allowed to divorce me. After all the crap we went through this weekend, some of which you contributed to, you're stuck with me forever."

Santana smiled. "I think I'll be okay with that. I love you too."

Rachel kissed her and then got up and started walking towards the bedroom. She took her top off and threw it onto the floor as she continued walking. "I seem to remember promising you a show." Rachel turned back to Santana and winked, then walked into the bedroom.

Santana groaned. "Ugh, best wife ever." Then she jumped off the couch and ran into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

And then they bang.

* * *

**The End  
**


End file.
